Operation: Destroy Graduation Hey! That Rhymes!
by I'mConfuzzled
Summary: Graduation is coming up and Emmett want to make it a memorable one. But how far will he take it? Prepare to find out! This is a three-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Twilight fanfiction. So please, don't judge.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight or the characters (unfortunately) but I do own this story idea! **

**Operation: Destroy Graduation (Hey! That Rhymes!)**

One week. One week left until Rosalie, Jasper and I 'graduate'. I can't remember exactly how many times I've graduated; I couldn't be bothered to keep count after twenty. But just think about it, doing at _least_ three years of school over twenty times. Sitting through the same old lesson that you hated doing the first time, over twenty times. Graduating over twenty times.

It gets slightly boring after a while. Slightly being the understatement of the century. And trust me; I've lived through that century! I shook the thought from my head.

I looked around the table we were sat at. Alice and Rosalie were in a deep conversation about a new fashion line by some French designer I couldn't pronounce the name of. I steered well away from their little chat.

Edward and Bella were whispering to each other, even though everyone on this particular table could hear everything they were saying. Bella was now a vampire, has been for 7 years, but we wanted to make sure her self control was perfect before we could send her to a building full of humans everyday, so this is the first school she's been to (as a vampire).

Her first day was the funniest though; even though she doesn't fall down or blush anymore, when she got out of the car Eddie could every single thought of every male in the parking lot. I thought he was going to murder the entire male population by the end of the day. Although now everyone knows she's with Edward, they aren't _as bad_.

I smiled remembering the one boy who had been having some very dirty fantasises about Bella during lunch. We had to practically drag Edward out to stop him from killing the poor lad there and then. Eddie looked up at me and growled, hearing my thoughts.

I smirked at his and then turned to Jasper instead, who was angrily scribbling on a piece of paper.

"Whatcha doing, Jazz?" I asked. He briefly acknowledged my presence before turning back to the paper.

"Stupid History." Huh?

"Huh?" I asked "Aren't you doing the Civil War?"

"Yes. You'd be amazed how many facts they got wrong!" He crossed out another thing as he said this "And they have the formation all wrong, the front ranks are meant to be..." He continued speaking but something Bella had said grabbed my attention.

"Someone pulled a prank on Sir today,"

"A prank?" Asked Eddie sceptically.

"Oh, yes!" Alice joined the conversation "It was really immature!"

"What did they do?" I said, interested now.

"They put a whoopee cushion on his chair." A whoopee cushion? A _whoopee cushion!_

"Why would they do that?" I was started to get annoyed now.

"Yeah, practical jokes are stupid!" Edward said, obviously remembering the last time I played a joke on him. He glared at me. I don't know if it was my thoughts or his memory of it.

"Both." He growled.

"No." I returned to his comment about practical jokes "I didn't say they were stupid, but if you're going to pull one, you've got to at _least_ make it memorable!"

And just like that, like a light bulb just went off over my head. I knew what I had to do!

"Oh my gosh! Emmett that's genius! Can I help?" Of course Alice would have seen it.

"Sure. Can you record it? Like with a video camera?" I was starting to get excited now.

"Of course!" She did a little happy dance in her seat "This is going to be the best graduation ever!"

"Guys," Jasper looked up from his scribbles "Please. Turn down the excitement."

"Sorry." Alice and I mumbled.

"Oh dear god Emmett. Why?" Eddie had obviously been reading mine and Alice's thoughts.

"Because I'm fed up with the same old boring graduation. It's time to spice things up and little."

"What are you guys talking about?" Rosalie joined our conversation too. "Bella, Jasper and I still don't know what's going on!"

I thought for a minute. Well 2.67 seconds really, but still!

"Fine but only because I need yours and Jasper's help. And Eddie is bound to spill it to Bella anyway," I gave up too easily when it came to my master plans.

"And because I'm your wife." Rosalie corrected.

"And because you're my wife." I repeated.

"So, the evil plan..?" Bella hinted. I gestured for them all to lean in. Which they did, apart from Eddie. So I leaned over the table and grabbed his collar and pulled him forwards. "Right so the master plan," I started still holding Eddie's t-shirt. "Is." I started building up tension.

"I am going to make this graduation one no one will _ever_ forget."

**Please Review! This is my first Twilight fanfiction. So anything, whether you liked it, loved it, loathed it or some advice. Anything is welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wazzup? Sorry I haven't updated. I plan to get the next and last **** chapter up this week and finish my other story 'How It All Began' because it's HALF TERM! Whoop Whoop! Might do a Halloween one-shot for Sunday... Tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer – If I owned it I wouldn't be doing a disclaimer now would I?**

**And now for the next chapter...**

_In the last Chapter:_

"_So, the evil plan..?" Bella hinted. I gestured for them all to lean in. Which they did, apart from Eddie. So I leaned over the table and grabbed his collar and pulled him forwards. "Right so the master plan," I started still holding Eddie's t-shirt. "Is." I started building up tension._

"_I am going to make this graduation one no one will ever forget."_

**Emmett's POV**

"6 days later," I spoke into the voice recorder "Or, the day before graduation."

"What _are _you doing?" I spun around to see Edward standing there with an incredibly confused look on his face.

Admittedly, I had asked Alice to help me with the clothes (every good spy must have the right uniform) so I was now kitted out with a long sleeve black t-shirt, which may I add showed off my muscles pretty damn well! Black trousers, trainers (black) and a black beanie hat (Alice said they're 'in' this season, no idea what that means) and 2 diagonal black lines on each cheek.

I had also got a voice recorder and some walkie talkies.

I had walkie talkies because I couldn't do this alone. Well, I probably could, but it's more fun when other people are in on it. I needed Jasper's help. Jasper had all that training! That's got to come in handy.

"Jasper had training for the military, not being a spy!" Oh, I forgot Edward was here. "That makes me feel really loved, you know!" he said sarcastically.

"It does?" I asked, ignoring the sarcasm "That's weird!"

He rolled his eyes and walked off, probably to go find Bella, if you know what I mean ;)

"I heard that!" he called back. I huffed, he was no fun. Anyway, time to go find Jasper.

I heard him moving around upstairs. I ran up the staircase and to just outside his and Alice's room when I heard: "Jasper, I'm not going to put the lipstick on your lips, it's going on your cheeks!" and then some more shuffling followed by a thud.

I opened the door to see Jasper lying on his back with Alice sat across his chest, pinning his arms down with her knees while applying the lipstick on his cheek.

"All that military training and you got pinned by a pixie," I shook my head in fake shame "What the hell did they teach you?"

Jasper growled at me.

"Now, now, Jazz. Don't get mad at me." I teased "Actually don't though; I need you to come with me once Alice has finished."

"Why? Where are we going?" He asked warily.

I painted a massive smile on my face "Shopping." I said before I bounced out of the doorway and down the stairs to wait for him.

**10 mins later**

When I finally got Jasper in the car, after I had to drag him downstairs, we started heading towards our destination.

"Why couldn't you get Alice to take you shopping?" Jasper complained

"Because this isn't girly-girl Alice kind of shopping, this is guy shopping!"

"Is there such thing as guy shopping?" he asked sceptically.

"Yes." And if not, there should be.

"Where are we even going?" He asked after about 5 minutes of silence.

"Here." I pulled into the car-park.

"Wal-Mart?" he asked, he asks too many questions "Do you know Alice wouldn't have helped you, if she knew where you were planning on going."

"Oh shut it and come on!"

When we got inside, I jumped up clapping my hands like a little kid in a candy store.

"Emmett." Jasper warned. Oops, emotions under control. "Thank you." He said, just then he grabbed the list out of my hands.

"You know," he started as we walked round the isles "This might not be so bad!"

**Later that evening**

"10:17pm. Outside the building a.k.a – school." I whispered into the voice recorder, I was crouched behind a bush.

"Agent Cullen, that's me, is going to scale the side of the building, look into the higher cafeteria window making sure the coast is clear while Agent Whitlock deactivates the alarm via the vents leading from the roof."

"Or," Jasper whispered in my ear "We could use the keys Alice nicked when she knew this was going to happen." He stood up a strolled towards the door, at human pace, and whipped out the keys as if he honestly thought that's what to do.

"Jasper," I ran, vampire speed, towards him. "Have you never seen a spy movie?"

"Of course I have."

"Then why did you unlock the door. My way was a whole lot better!"

"I just thought it would be more sensible if we did it this way."

"You do know you sound like Edward, don't you?" My voice was dead panned.

"All I'm saying is that..."

"I know, I know. Sensible. But honestly where's the fun in sensible?"

"Look, if Alice knew that you would end up winning this argument she wouldn't have bothered to give me the keys in the first place. So let stop wasting time and get to the good bit!"

"Fine." He had a point.

**1 hour later**

"Agent Cullen to Agent Whitlock. Do you read me? Over."

"Crystal clear. Over."

"Are you in position? Over"

"Affirmative. Ov-Why do we have to keep saying over?"

"Because that's what they do in all the movies. Over" I rolled my eyes, didn't he know anything?

"Doesn't it get old after a while?"

"So does doing graduation over and over again. So can we set up to make this the best in the next hundred years? Over."

I heard him scoff.

"Why do we even need these? We can hear each other just fine with our vampire hearing."

"Because, my young inexperienced one, it's what all the great spies do!"

"Ha! You didn't say 'over'!"

"Immature!" I whispered to myself.

"Me? Imma- Never mind! Let's get on with the task at hand."

"Great!" Time for my plan. "Over." I said quickly into the walkie talkie.

**Back at the house**

We had set up everything we needed to and I had made some phone calls. But Jasper doesn't know about that. I just needed to ask Rose if she could do one tiny little part in it.

As soon as Edward heard my thoughts he burst out laughing. "Oh shut up." I glared at him, and then I went serious "Do you think she'll agree?"

"I'm not Alice." He said once he had stopped laughing "Ask her, or even better ask Rosalie."

"Ask Rosalie what?" Rose asked, suddenly appearing at my side.

"I was wondering if you could do me a little favour tomorrow." My voice going slightly higher than usual.

"What is it?" She asked.

Edward started laughing again. I chuckled nervously. I mumbled it under my breath but she still heard me.

"You want me to do _what_!"

**Almost there. One more chapter left. Graduation Day. Dun Dun Dun! What will happen? What did Emmett ask Rose to do? And will they get away with it? Well, I know since I'm writing it. But you don't, I guess you'll have to read it and find out.**

**It'll be up either tomorrow or the day after. Plus what do you think about a Halloween one-shot? **

**Please review, it makes me wanna dance until my sombrero falls off! (Long story!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**OhMiGaud! I'm soooo sorry I haven't updated in ages, but I was busy planning out a longer story... Anyway, the last chappy **** so sad.**

**Disclaimer – Don't own it ;)**

**Operation: Destroy Graduation (Hey! That Rhymes!) **

**Chapter 3 – Graduation**

"Is everything set up?"

"Yes."

"Everyone's in position?"

"Yes."

"Alice has the video camera?"

"Yes."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Then let's get this show on the road!" Jasper nodded and jogged to his position. I turned and walked up to my incredibly angry wife, who had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot impatiently.

"Rose are you re-"

"Yes. Let's get this over and done with."

"He's coming now." I pointed towards Samuel Grey. The valedictorian. Who, coincidently, had a crush on my Rose. Rose heaved a sigh and strutted over to him.

If I were normal I wouldn't have been able to hear their conversation but I'm not, so I can.

"Hey Sam," she batted her eyelids seductively.

"H-hey Rosalie." He looked awestruck that she would even notice him, let alone talk to him.

"Call me Rosey." She winked at him. He jaw practically hit the floor. He started mumbled incoherently. "Hey um, do you want to take a little trip to the janitor's closet with me, if you know what I mean..." she trailed off suggestively.

"I um-but you, your-sure." He had obviously forgotten all about the fact he was meant to be on in about five minutes.

"Come with me." She winked and grabbed his tie, slowly pulling him toward the open door. If he'd of had his eyes higher than my Rose's chest he might of notice Jasper hiding in the shadows with the keys to the door, unfortunately for him he was a _bit_ distracted.

Rosalie led him to the closet and pushed him in first before quickly retreating; Jasper stepped in and locked the door with a _click_. When Sammy-boy had obviously come to his senses on what had happened, he started banging on the door. I walked over to the locked door and kicked it, he shut up.

"Phase 1 complete!" I gave Jazz a high-five and then turned to Rose.

"That is the last time I do _you_ a favour!" she turned on her heel and left, mumbling about 'flirting' and 'greasy slobs'.

"Time for Phase Two: Mr Gadler." Jasper said. We both nodded and set off in different directions.

2 minutes later my walkie talkie crackled to life.

"Agent Cullen this is Agent Whitlock. I have the target in sight."

"Where are you?" I answered.

"Just outside the gym doors."

"I'll be right there." I looked around to see if there was anyone there; there wasn't. I ran at vampire speed to where Jasper was standing.

"Perfect." I whispered. So low only vampires could have heard it. I put on my best acting face and ran at human speed toward Mr Gadler.

"Sir, sir!" I shouted, frantically waving my arms in the air.

"Who are you?"

"Emmett Cullen. But sir, it's Sam. He's missing!"

"Samuel Grey? But he's giving the speech."

"I know. I've looked everywhere and I can't find him." Mr Gadler had no experience with me what-so-ever because he had never taught one of my classes, or every really encountered me at all. Which is why my plan is foolproof.

"But who's going to give the speech now?"

"Well sir," I put on my best innocent face, the one that got to Esme _almost_ every time "He recited his speech to me once; I think I can still remember it."

"Brilliant! What would I do without you!" He grinned "I'm so glad you're here Emmett. Otherwise this would truly be a disaster!" He ran off, most likely to make the changes.

I had a smug grin on my face as I walked back to Jasper. Who was doubled over in silent laughter.

He managed to choke out "What would I do without you? So glad you're here Emmett? This would truly be a disaster?" By the end of his little rant he had managed to stop laughing. "I think it's going to be a disaster _because_ you're here!"

"He doesn't know that. Now let's get back to this disaster in the making!" And with that we ran back to the hall.

**Back in the hall.**

"Emmett! Quickly put your gown on!" I grabbed my gown, which he was currently holding in his hand and shoved it over my head. "Great, you're on." He tried to give me a shove onto the stage, but it was a failed attempt. So I casually walked on.

Esme, Carlisle, Bella and Edward (who I kept the details of my plan secret from) sat there with their mouths hanging open. Alice on the other hand was practically bouncing in her seat with anticipation, and also holding a camera.

"Perfect." I mumbled "Time for Phase Three."

"Well, hello everyone." No one moved. No one spoke. I don't even think some people were breathing. Bella sure wasn't. But then again that could be more to the fact that Edward had rested his hand on her leg. Ah well.

"You may not know this but the valedictorian, Samuel Grey, has not been able to do his speech he's um... tied up with previous engagements at the moment" Jasper snorted at my horrible joke somewhere backstage.

"So I will be filling in." My family shifted uncomfortably in their seats. "I just wanted to start off by saying that, I have actually enjoyed my time at this school." My family started to relaxed "And so I've have put together a power point for you all to watch," Family was back on red alert.

I heard Bella whisper 'How bad can it be?' I shook my head at her question. _Very bad Bella, very bad._

I flicked the power point on. And it read 'Emmett's take on Forks High School' I heard Carlisle groan from where he sat.

"One thing I love about this school is how the teacher's are so nice." It flicked to a picture of Mr Varner shouting a tired Bella. (Who had been up all night with her vampire, but no one else knew _that_ part) I tried to keep a straight face but I could practically feel Bella's blush from here.

"Another thing is how fantastic the food here is." All my family had a quiet laugh. And the picture changed to me with a live chicken on my plate (Me and Jasper had taken a few of these last night). Everyone in the hall was laughing. They wouldn't be when Phase Four kicked into action.

"Also how everyone respects each other..." The slide was about to change when Samuel Grey hopped in, only in his underwear, and with ropes tying his arms and legs together. I don't remember leaving him like that! I looked over to see Rose smirking in a 'Try and get out of that' kind of way. Ooh. My wife's good.

"You!" he shouted, still hopping "You took my spot. You locked me in a closet and make off with my clothes!" Everyone in the audience was laughing (except maybe Samuel Grey's family).

Unfortunately with him being tied up, he tripped over the tripwire (obviously) that me and Jazz had set all those hours ago. And he fell flat on his face. Another thing that trip wire did was set off an alarm, which signalled to my old buddies (who no one knew about) that Phase Four was in motion.

Which it wasn't.

Ah well. I'm going to have to go with it. Just then they appeared all in khaki suits with black guns (they were only paintball guns, okay specially modified paintball guns. But paintball guns non-the-less) and they started shooting.

Panic filled the room. Everyone was had got out of their seats by now and were running around. I ran over to Trevor. "Oi! Have you got mine?" I shouted over the chaos.

"Here!" He chucked the spare paintball gun he had attached to his belt to me.

"Ta mate!" I held the gun in my hand for about 0.345 seconds before I ran into the crowd of screaming humans. Ready to fire.

I had just got Samuel Grey's family, who were trying to untie Sammy's rope. Good luck to them. I can barely undo Rose's knots, and I'm a vampire!

Suddenly I saw the perfect target; Bella.

I had just got my shot lined up and was about to cover her head to toe in green paint... when Eddie stepped infront of her and growled at me. Dammit, I forgot he could hear my thoughts. Of course! I ran as fast as a human could possibly go towards Trevor and explained the plan to him. I rushed back toward my previous position, and waited.

Trevor came into sight; he was on the opposite side of the target, lining up a shot on Bella. Edward obviously heard his thoughts and turned to stand infront of Bella. Too bad I now had a clear shot on Bella's back!

I fired.

Edward heard.

He spun round and pulled Bella to the ground just in time for it to whizz straight over her head.

Damn. I'll just have to keep trying. I looked to see who it had hit instead only to find that when it missed Bella it then starting heading straight towards something I really didn't want it to head for. Well, actually, it could be rather amusing.

Just as I thought that the paintball, that was originally for Bella, made contact with the fire alarm. Setting it off. Also, in the progress, setting off the sprinklers.

A collective groan could be heard as the sprinklers got everyone drenched. The teachers were now trying to get everyone outside because the fire department had probably had an alarm going off and were on their way. I sent a message round and sure enough by the time everyone was outside my 'friends' were nowhere to be found.

The now soaked teachers were trying to separate students and families, to make such everyone was out. And the fire men had shown up and were negotiating whether or not it was better to do a routine check or not, considering it was a false alarm.

I looked over to see Carlisle and Esme apologising to a member of staff. Edward trying to get Bella some dry clothes. Sam _still_ trying to chat up Rose. Finally my eyes landed on Alice, who looked at me that same moment, she knew what I wanted. She held the camera up with a big grin, proving she got it all. I mentally punched the air.

I fished my walkie talkie out from my jean pockets under my robe. "Agent Whitlock."

"Yes, Agent Cullen." Jasper's voice crackled through the device.

I smirked as I looked around everyone was outside at 9:30pm, soaked and covered in paint with the fire alarm going off in the background and shouting and complaining was all that could be heard, and I knew _no one _would forget this graduation in a hurry.

"Agent Whitlock this is Agent Cullen; Mission Accomplished!"

**Awwww, it's done. Please read my new story 'Okay, That Was Funny!' and REVIEW! Sorry I'm having a bet with my friend, who can get the most reviews. So PLEASE help me win!**

**Tell me if you liked it, loved it, hated it, loathed it. I don't care anything, anything at all!**

**Thanks for being patient with me!**

**I'mConfuzzled xx **


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